VIP

Am sure most of u heard of the title "VIP". It basically stands for "Very Important Person" and signifies that this person is special among all the other people around. It can be used in a variety of situations, eg. VIP of a company's Dinner & Dance, VIP of a certain Country Club, etc.

But what about people who has not been acknowledged as VIP but think of themselves as one? What should they be called then? SPVIP - Self Proclaimed Very Important Person?

LOL.

Personally I know a few SPVIPs myself and its not easy to stomach such a person coz u will be at the constant reminder of their self importance.


Case No. 1

The infamous ASSFUCKDIOT aka Public Enemy aka most hated person mentioned in my blog. His persistent effort to make us colleagues aware of his existence by introducing poorly planned policies, sowing discords among existing colleagues, bootlicking the bosses, etc...just to make pple notice him and acknowledge his importance. - I feel like I am almost becoming an expert in ignoring the existence of this person.


Case No. 2

She always talks about herself, protrays a goody goody image in front of friends and offers a helping hand to pple while rarely seems to mean it. Every topic of conversation with her ultimately turns into her experiences, her views, her.........just her. It seems that she revolves in her own world and expects everyone else to revolve ard her world.

Note: To identify a person who genuinely care for u as a friend and one who just wana appear helpful and nice in the eyes of the public, just observe how he/she talks and act. If he/she cares, he/she will listen more than talk and act to help when they are able to instead of talk.


Case No. 3

She does the littlest amount of work possible and claim the biggest credit for it. She takes MCs and leaves when she knows that a busy period with loads of incoming work is arriving. She threatens to quit just to get the bosses to agree to a pay raise and then boasts around to say that she is too important for the bosses to let her quit. She claims no one can replace her job and that she is a valueable asset to the team. - She is delusional


3 examples of SPVIPs for the moment...need to get back to work..self proclaimed break time is over....sob sob.

KPO Pig

U know how sometimes u feel like u are being watched or eavesdropped. When u have done something guilty, tat must be a scary feeling to be watched or eavesdropped.

However, when u are just having a regular conversation with another person and have been eavesdropped by a certain Assfuckdiot, all u will feel is IRRITATION. Not tat the conversation is a secret or tat the contents of the conversation is inappropriate...but simply tat in normal circumstances, any other person who overheard the conversation would just keep their silence and pretend they didnt hear a thing and only join in the conversation when they are invited to.

Well, the Assfuckdiot apparently likes to stick his stinking butt in everyone's business.

So I was having this early argument with a colleague on the pronunciation of the word "Abalone". Our views are:-

Colleague, V: A-ba-lo-nee

Me: A-ba-lone

Then Assfuckdiot interrupted and said "V, u r right. Its A-ba-lo-nee. Even radio FM95.00 is correcting pple's pronunciation." (Can just imagine his gloating face tat I got the wrong pronunciation.)

So I googled "Pronunciation of Abalone" over the internet and it turns out V is right. -_-

Ya lah, I am not the guru of English nor an English teacher mah, its ok to get it wrong occasionally.

But who is the Assfuckdiot to interrupt our conversation which he was not invited to?!!!

Pronunciation of Assfuckdiot: ASSSSS-FUCK-DIOT

Idiot's Self-Importance Technique

The idiot has outdone himself.

Having been scorned for over a year, the public enemy cum idiot decided to make himself known in my office.

He sent out this email yesterday:

Dear all,

With immediate effect, if you are not able to report for work and need to take urgent leave, medical leave, child card leave, time off, etc, you are to notify your immediate superior and myself (96777663).

Email dissemination of the reason for your absent will be done by myself and not any of your colleague. This will help to streamline our
dissemination procedure.

Cooperation and compliance will be very much appreciated. Thank
you.

Regards
Idiot

The email was labeled "Absent" and the words "your absent" were mentioned in the 2nd paragraph of the email as well. Idiot tries to be smart and to appear good in his english....it should be Absence! Real idiot.

To make himself known in the office, he now wants to appear important and wat better way than to be in a position of power...when anyone who wants to take leave or MC have to go thru him and be at his mercy.


The idiot had previously sent out an email regarding dressing in the office on Fridays. Follow this link to my blog entry on this email: http://chrsfran.blogspot.com/2009/12/idiotic-email-writing-skill.html

Then I just heard from a colleague tat she asked him, cannot wear flip flops then wat abt some of the bosses (ie. lawyers)?

His answer was "Theirs are expensive flip flops."

Wat kind of an answer is this? Nevermind the double standard practice tats in place...is tat even a smart answer? The flip flops are ok coz they are expensive?

So if I wear expensive or branded jeans, t-shirts and even RAGS on Fridays in the office, its ok too right?!!!

Asshole, Idiot, KNN...he is just one of a kind, so atrocious tat I cannot find a word for him. Maybe I shld just invent a word -"ASSFUCKDIOT"!

Idiotic Email Writing Skill

Just when I was determined to ignore the Idiot's existence and am almost doing it, he just gotta do something stupid to trigger off my resentment towards him.

An email sent to all the staff in our firm plus the junior lawyers but of coz the partners and big shots are excluded:

"Dear all,

I have been given instruction
to inform all of you
that wearing jeans on Friday is strictly
prohibited. Shorts, Bermudas,
flip flops and T-shirt (non-collared)
are all classified as
inappropriate.

Smart casual on Friday is
acceptable but for
lawyers, if you are meeting client in/or outside
office, you have to dress
up appropriately.

Thank you for your
attention.

Regards
Idiot (with a capital "I") "

In normal cases, the above email will just set off some talks abt how the management's decision will affect our dressing and all...but this particular email set off talks like:


"Omg, cannot wear flip flops...then we must wear heels the whole 8 hours plus in the office? Aiyo, cannot walk like that for whole day lah."

"Cannot wear flip flops? Wat abt some of the bosses, how come they can? Coz their flip flops more high class?"

"Ok, no flip flops. Barefoot?"

"No T-Shirts or else T-Shirts must have collars? We cut out collars and fix to our T-Shirts? LOL"

"But ladies' blouses seldom have collars ar (those T-Shirt material blouses)."


All probably just becoz we dun like the idiot's style of doing things. Since its instructions from the bosses, why didnt he dare to email everyone in the firm including the bosses? Afraid tat the bosses realise how poor his command of English is?

"Smart casual on Friday is acceptable but for lawyers" sounded like everyone except the lawyers are allowed to wear smart casual on Friday. -_- Stupid Idiot!

2 Days MC

Woke up this morning...Day 3 since my sudden loss of voice...regained abt half my voice by now but I cant speak a proper full sentence without either my voice breaking up or suddenly stopping coz no sound came out...unless the sentence is short. :P

Topping it up, got phelgm in my throat and my nose felt wet when I woke up...so suspect the flu and cough are emerging too...well, come join the party flu and cough! Why wait?

Remembered tat my boss told me she got something for me to do today at work...so, deliberating between being a good worker and go to work OR taking care of myself and my health and go see a doc and rest. The latter won, I love myself more than my work. Yay! I think its a rather smart choice. Not as if the office or my boss will give me a "Most Hardworking Employee" award for turning up at work sick.

U must all learn to take good care of urself before anything else k! Nothing can compensate u for ur health. And no one other than urself should be worth it.

Anyway, called office to report tat I am on 2 days MC (the doc decided to give me flu and cough medicine too...so I took all the medicine he gave me) and of all the people, had to hear an idiot answer my call....yeah, idiot = public enemy = most hated person I EVER met at work.

Why is he an idiot? Among other things, a simple conversation and he couldnt make out wat I said...(though my voice was breaking up, but look at the sentence structure! how could he have heard wrongly?! I think probably its coz his english really jialat...so he couldnt understand me):

I: "I am on 2 days MC"

Idiot: "You are on MC today?"

I: "2 days MC"

Idiot: "Today or 2 days?"

I: "2 days lah, today and tomorrow."

Wah lau, if I meant to say I am on 1 day MC, I would tell him "I am on MC today". The word MC will come before today mah....stupid idiot he is!

Ok, no point getting upset over this kind of people. Going to rest now. Till next time.

Idiots In The Office Part 2

Due to favourable feedbacks on my first posting of "Idiots In The Office", I decided to do a Part 2. Oh wait...maybe my reason for doing a Part 2 posting is because there are really many idiots in the office! @_@


DISCLAIMER

Notice 1:
If you happen to know the situations described below or know the people I am describing, please do not feel offended or upset about my post. I mean to share, not to upset.

Notice 2:
If you happen to be one of the Idiot I am talking about below...well, I guess you probably won't know that I am talking about you and therefore won't feel upset.

Notice 3:
If you happen not to understand what I have described below...hmmm...I think you are probably an Idiot too.

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A was working late in the office one night (as she usually does) when I and a few colleagues who are also working late decided to go out and have their dinner.

With the knowledge that A is still in the office, I and gang omitted to inform A that they are going out for dinner and would be coming back to the office.

At 9pm plus, A finally decided to pack up and go home. So as a standard procedure, she checked all the rooms in the office to make sure that no one else is around and all the lights are off (none of the room lights were on anyway) before she locked the front entrance and headed home.

A received a phone call from I at 10pm plus just as she was stepping out of the MRT station near her home.

I: Wei A, where are you huh?
A: Just stepped out of MRT near my home. Why?
I: We are locked out of the office! We only went out for dinner, why did you lock us out?
A: Erm, I lock up because I was the last person in the office. I went around to check but no one around, so of course I have to lock up.
I: But we got leave our room lights on mah!
A: No ah, I went to check all the rooms. None of the lights in the room were on.
I: Aiyah, then how?! You come back to the office now and help us unlock the front door leh!
A: I am sorry I can't do that, its too far away... (it took A about an hour to reach home)
<I grumbles...then hung up>

Next day, I shot some 'dirty looks' at A when they encounter each other in the office.

This is unfounded lor! I is an absolute IDIOT!

Why???

1. Everyone in the office is assigned a key to the front door, therefore the last person to leave the office MUST check that all the lights are off then lock the office up before going off.
~ A did all the necessary checks and locked up

2. Anyone who stayed late to do his/her work in the office SHOULD remember to bring the key with him/her when going for dinner or restroom breaks.
~ Since I and gang went out for dinner together, its ridiculous none of them brought their key.

3. It is common courtesy to let someone else who is still in the office know that you are going out for dinner and check if he/she will still be around when you come back later.
~ I did not inform A about going out for dinner and coming back after that.

4. No one should assume that fellow colleagues will work till late every night just because they happen to work late most days of the week.
~ What the hell was I and gang thinking when they expect someone to be still in the office at 10pm plus!!!

5. When you have been locked out of the office for reason of your own stupidity, don't be insensitive and expect others to come all the way back to your rescue.
~ I wanted A to travel all the way back to the office and did not even suggest paying for her cab fare to and fro. Like that who want to do that! Siao...

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Idiots in the Office

Decided to blog on "Idiots in the office" coz I am sure we encounter similar situations at least once in our working life.

Notice 1:
If you happen to know the situations described below or know the people I am describing, please do not feel offended or upset about my post. I mean to share, not to upset.

Notice 2:
If you happen to be one of the Idiot I am talking about below...well, I guess you probably won't know that I am talking about you and therefore won't feel upset.

Notice 3:
If you happen to not understand what I have describe below...hmmm...I think you are probably the Idiot.

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Boss asked A and B to destroy certain old documents by removing them from the files and tearing them into 2 before discarding.

A and B proceeded to tear the papers when I comes along and asked them what they are doing (I being a busybody aka KPO).

I: What are u two doing?
A & B: Tearing paper
I: Why?
A: Old documents, boss asked us to destroy and throw.
I: Why not use the shredder?
A: There are too many staplets (staple bullets...aiyah watever u call them) in there, if use shredder, it will spoil the machine.
I: Oh... (and I walks away)

Second Day...

A and B were still tearing the papers. I again came to them.

I: U all still tearing ah...I still think u should use the shredder.
A: Already told u, cannot use shredder because got too many staplets. It will take far more time to remove the staplets then to just tear. Anyway, Boss also told us to just tear into half and throw can already.
I: This too slow lah, use shredder faster.
A: Cannot la.
I: Ok but I think this is not the right way to destroy documents. Should shred them into pieces la.
A: Boss said can. U go tell her la.

A gives up explaining and I walks away.

Then, A was having lunch with C and telling her about this incident with I.

C: Oh, I also came to me and talked to me about that. He told me that the papers shouldnt be just torn into 2 parts and thrown because people can paste them back and that we should shred the papers instead.
A: I give up. Told him cannot shred already...got so many staplets.
C: Yah, and Boss was the one who said can tear into half. Boss also tear into half.
A: Yah, wat is wrong with him? Hard to understand wat we said?

Do you understand????

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A and I are engineers in the same company. Their work involves working with figures and solving equations in real life situations.

One day, A asked I to solve a mathematical equation that involves substitution. (Honestly I dont quite recall how to do substition but am sure I can work it out if given time.)

After a long time, I passed A wrong answer and A looked at him in frustration and told him that its wrong and asked I to find out where he went wrong.

Here is a simple explanation (which I came up with) showing the part where I has gone wrong:

Problem:
a/b + c/d = ?

I's Answer:
(a+c)/(b+d)


Got wats wrong? Lets just put some figures in...

The correct answer:
1/4 + 3/8 = 2/8 + 3/8 = 5/8


using I's Answer:
1/4 + 3/8 = (1+3)/(4+8) = 4/12 = 1/3


Gosh...this is primary maths....and I is an engineer.....and guess wat? Think he still dun get where he went wrong...

Working with Idiots can KILL U?!!!

A fren passed me an article today and I was pretty amazed and amused at the same time reading it. As it was a cut-out article, I am unable to credit the relevant newspaper agency or even let u guys know which date the article appeared.

Anway, the contents of the article is as follow (makes for interesting reading):

Idiots in the office are just as hazardous to your health as cigarettes, caffeine or greasy food, an eye-opening new study reveals.

In fact, those dopes can kill you! Stress is one of the top causes of heart attacks - and working with stupid people on a daily basis is one of the deadliest forms of stress, according to researchers at Sweden's Lindbergh University MedicalCentre.

The author of the study, Dr Dagmar Andersson, says her team studied 500 heart attack patients, and were puzzled to find 62 per cent had relatively few of the physical risk factors commonly blamed for heart attacks.

"Then we questioned them about lifestyle habits, and almost all of these low-risk patients told us they worked with people so stupid they can barely find their way from the parking lot to their office. And their heart attack came less than 12 hours after having a major confrontation with one of these oafs.

"One woman had to be rushed to the hospital after her assistant shredded important company tax documents instead of copying them. A man told us he collapsed right at his desk because the woman at the next cubicle kept asking him for correction fluid - for her computer monitor.

"You can cut back on smoking or improve your diet," Dr Andersson says, "but most people have very poor coping skills when it comes to stupidity - they feel there's nothing they can do about it, so they just internalise their frustration until they finally explode."

Stupid co-workers can also double or triple someone's work loads, she explains,"Many of our subjects feel sorry for the drooling idiots they work with, so they try to cover for them by fixing their mistakes. One poor woman spent a week rebuilding client records because a clerk put them all in the 'recycle bin' of her computer and then emptied it - she thought it meant the records would be recycled and used again."

Do u agree with the above article??? I DO...*raised hand*