THE BEAUTY OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE UNDONE

I lifted these from an email I received. Very interesting piece, so I wanted to share with u guys....hope u concur.


"Be confounded and confused by the English Language Something to ponder for the day.........
Just think about it......very interesting.

THE BEAUTY OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE UNDONE

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England ..We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English could be running the danger of being called verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT IF PEOPLE FROM POLAND ARE CALLED POLES THEN PEOPLE FROM HOLLAND SHOULD BE HOLES AND THE GERMANS GERMS!!!"

My Words of Consolation

Had a rather sad conversation with a friend today.

Sometimes behind the sounding laughters and beneath the smiley faces we see around us, there lies souls who are lost, hurt, sad and in despair. It may be tat they face bigger problems than us in general or tat their problems might be more serious...but I think every one of us have our fair share of problems.

And I believe there are 2 types of problem solvers among people:-

Type 1 - analytical & practical in their approaches. They tend to tackle problem first before they sit down to think about their feelings or others' feelings.

Type 2 - ruled by their emotions and have own emotional hurdles they have to cross before being able to tackle a problem.
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So my friend said:-

"...the incident happen too suddenly and i almost cant cope .. but now...i try to get use to it and accept wat i have done...."

"i am lost somehow ..... lost in space ... all this time i try to run away try to avoid but it seems not a good idea ... after all is all my fault i have to face it alone. When will i find back myself is a question mark to me ... last time i not use to be so lost .. i always have a direction but now ... no direction at all. I dunno wat will happen to me in future . and i have no future at all..."


My words of consolation:-

...u dun have to have a particular goal to feel like u got a direction
...u dun have to have a family to feel sheltered
...u dun have to have a house to feel like u own something
...instead of a big goal, have smaller goals
...ur parents might have passed away n u feel no one is there to back u up but this way u learn to stand up for urself. And if u failed, there are friends around
...although u dun own a house of ur own, u have rest stops here and there. Its an experience for u. Rather than the monotonous and boring life, u now got an ever changing life where everything and anything can happen.
...learn to accept and adapt
...dun reject, regret and complain


I think my friend is a definite Type 2....so which type are u?

PS: U are welcome to talk to me abt ur problems, I will always have a listening ear for u....not so sure abt my advice though. As I am more of a Type 1 person, some of my advices might not work for all.

Who is Ms Popular?

A short conversation with my friend Ni upon seeing her comment on MSN:

"I'm Ms Popular and not enjoying it"

Me: Hi Ms Popular, wat happened?
Me: U won a prize at Popular bookstore and got photographed as their Ms Popular?

Ni: haha
Ni: v creative hor
Ni: no lah... at work... alot of pple finding me
Ni: so ms popular

Personally, I like my explanation better ^_^

"Selfish"

A friend, Ninniku (Nini for short) asked me today:

"Why is selfish called selfish.. i wonder? Fishes are not solitary creatures leh, they swim in schooools."

My answer (a very innovative one) is as below:

"Maybe there is some old wife's tale abt how an old maid was helping a fish monger to sell fish for the summer and when the villagers know abt it, they asked her to help them sell other stuff too, like crabs, prawns & etc. And though the old maid had lots of time, she did not have the desire to be helpful to the others coz they did not pay her a single penny to help them out, so she turned them down.

One day, the old maid was selling fish as usual and the other villagers were selling their own stuff but there was some commotion in another part of the village and they went to look-see, all but the old maid.

Then came the Ma-tah (policemen) on their patrol and at the sight of them, the old maid packed up her fishes and ran off, leaving the other villagers' goods to be conviscated by the policemen.

So thereafter, the villagers all called the old maid the "SELFISH" one."

KPO Pig

U know how sometimes u feel like u are being watched or eavesdropped. When u have done something guilty, tat must be a scary feeling to be watched or eavesdropped.

However, when u are just having a regular conversation with another person and have been eavesdropped by a certain Assfuckdiot, all u will feel is IRRITATION. Not tat the conversation is a secret or tat the contents of the conversation is inappropriate...but simply tat in normal circumstances, any other person who overheard the conversation would just keep their silence and pretend they didnt hear a thing and only join in the conversation when they are invited to.

Well, the Assfuckdiot apparently likes to stick his stinking butt in everyone's business.

So I was having this early argument with a colleague on the pronunciation of the word "Abalone". Our views are:-

Colleague, V: A-ba-lo-nee

Me: A-ba-lone

Then Assfuckdiot interrupted and said "V, u r right. Its A-ba-lo-nee. Even radio FM95.00 is correcting pple's pronunciation." (Can just imagine his gloating face tat I got the wrong pronunciation.)

So I googled "Pronunciation of Abalone" over the internet and it turns out V is right. -_-

Ya lah, I am not the guru of English nor an English teacher mah, its ok to get it wrong occasionally.

But who is the Assfuckdiot to interrupt our conversation which he was not invited to?!!!

Pronunciation of Assfuckdiot: ASSSSS-FUCK-DIOT

9 Days to CNY

Counting down 9 more days to Chinese New Year. Here is an early CNY greetings to all my friends and blog readers: Wishing all of u a prosperous and bountiful new year!

Getting all excited for CNY is a thing of the past when I was still a kid. Now CNY is just another festive season where I get extra few days off from work. A much needed break coz I am getting rather restless at work.

U know how pple always say tat CNY is a busy period when there are lots of preparations tat one must make to welcome the new year. My progress of preparation for CNY is as follows:-

1) Spring cleaning my room - Partially. I wiped the dust off most areas and tidied the table tops in my room but it still looks almost the same except neater. It was the DVD/VCDs tat was packed away tat made my room look less cluttered.

2) Buying new clothes - Zero pieces of clothes bought for CNY. Its not tat I din buy any clothes for the past 1 year but tat I din buy clothes specially for CNY. So, I shall wear worn clothes to CNY this year AGAIN.

3) Have a haircut - Nope. Not going to have a haircut. Been trying to grow my hair long for the past few months. It sure is taking its time to grow though.

4) Dyeing my hair - Just bought a pack of Liese hair dye from Watsons last night "Marshmallow Brown" colour, need to find time to dye.

5) Painting my fingernails and toenails - Planning to do it nearer to CNY coz afraid of chipping the colours.

6) Trimming my eyebrows - Also planning to do this nearer CNY.

7) CNY goodies - Dun intend to buy coz I always find food at home without having to shop for them.

8) Appointments for CNY - Still unsure wat my appointments are for CNY. The usual reunion dinner at home, then wat? The usual half day visiting on 1st and 2nd day of CNY, then wat? At least I am sure of my appointment on 3rd day, gotta escape from home coz there will be visitors. 4th day back to work...thereafter a few other appointments for visiting.

Hmm...8 items above, not too bad...dun seems to be tat much for me to do right. LOL.

Yah, coz my wonder mama is doing everything by herself: spring cleaning the whole house, decorating the house, stocking up on CNY goodies and preparing the reunion dinner. :)

The joy of being SINGLE, UNMARRIED and LIVING WITH MAMA....haha....

I "heart" u, mama. ^_^

To be "Deep" or "Shallow"?

Just read a few blogs and realised tat there are many things I do not know abt my friends and even my own bro. Not as in secrets or sordid stuff but simply their train of thoughts, their experiences in life, their goals and vision, etc. Their postings seem to have a depth of sorts which I find amazing to discover and I envied these coz my postings of late seem to circle ard complaints of my workplace and silly and random stuff.

Made me think: Am I shallow? Do I lack the gift for writing? Or am I just unwilling to share some parts of my life which I hope to remain unexposed and unpublicized?

How far would we go to share ourselves on the blog which is accessible by all?

Then the devil on my head started shouting "Who the hell cares! This is ur blog. Just write wat u want. Read if they want to...heck care if they don't."

:P Then there goes all my readers... :(

PS: The angel on my head cowers in fear on hearing the devil's ranting.

Restless, Bored & De-moralized

As I quoted in my facebook previously:

"I am feeling my umpteenth time of Monday blues. Think that my blues is almost like weekly pms."

Had basically lazed at home for the whole weekend playing Aion, eating (bing-ed on ice-cream a lot too) and sleeping at odd hours. And still I feel restless, bored and unhappy.

Now to add to tat, came to work on monday and feel de-moralized more than ever.

The faces I dun wish to see (some u know, some u dun), the voices I dread to hear, the mountain of files I wish were burnt, the work I cant get my gear started to do and my boss's non-stop orders to do this and that.

Sick...very sick...

Idiot's Self-Importance Technique

The idiot has outdone himself.

Having been scorned for over a year, the public enemy cum idiot decided to make himself known in my office.

He sent out this email yesterday:

Dear all,

With immediate effect, if you are not able to report for work and need to take urgent leave, medical leave, child card leave, time off, etc, you are to notify your immediate superior and myself (96777663).

Email dissemination of the reason for your absent will be done by myself and not any of your colleague. This will help to streamline our
dissemination procedure.

Cooperation and compliance will be very much appreciated. Thank
you.

Regards
Idiot

The email was labeled "Absent" and the words "your absent" were mentioned in the 2nd paragraph of the email as well. Idiot tries to be smart and to appear good in his english....it should be Absence! Real idiot.

To make himself known in the office, he now wants to appear important and wat better way than to be in a position of power...when anyone who wants to take leave or MC have to go thru him and be at his mercy.


The idiot had previously sent out an email regarding dressing in the office on Fridays. Follow this link to my blog entry on this email: http://chrsfran.blogspot.com/2009/12/idiotic-email-writing-skill.html

Then I just heard from a colleague tat she asked him, cannot wear flip flops then wat abt some of the bosses (ie. lawyers)?

His answer was "Theirs are expensive flip flops."

Wat kind of an answer is this? Nevermind the double standard practice tats in place...is tat even a smart answer? The flip flops are ok coz they are expensive?

So if I wear expensive or branded jeans, t-shirts and even RAGS on Fridays in the office, its ok too right?!!!

Asshole, Idiot, KNN...he is just one of a kind, so atrocious tat I cannot find a word for him. Maybe I shld just invent a word -"ASSFUCKDIOT"!

Re-tying the Friendship Knot

It was a long while since I met up with Am. Only met her twice in 2009 and havent heard from her since March 2009.

We were close once upon a time when we were the only ones in the site office other than our commercial director (it was a site office within a retail shop, so there are other sales colleagues but they are just not seated in our office). When we switched jobs and left the place, we were close friends who met up every now and then to go out and sometimes chat over the phone.

She is one of the smartest lady friend I know (maybe she is the smartest but I cant be sure coz I cant make all my friends sit down and take an IQ test) and I always have stimulating conversations with her. But maybe its coz she knows she is smart, she is set in her opinions, views and in her own ways...to a point of stubborness.

There was a small bit of tension between us nearly 2 yrs ago and our friendship was never the same since and wat with all the laziness to keep in touch, we drifted apart.

So it came as a surprise tat meeting her again the first time this year actually brings back nostalgic feelings of our friendship before and I must admit tat I kinda missed her. We talk like old times and updated each other on wats happening in our lives and before we knew it, we had to head home coz it was late. Promised each other tat we will meet again soon and I do look forward to meeting her the next time.

Now I believe tat time does heal ALL wounds...even friendship can rekindle with time washing away the past and letting good friends start anew.

^_^